Those specific moments

I am not an open person, never have been, probably also never really will be.
It is how I have yet to experience anything really bothersome in terms of cyber safety, as the best way to keeping yourself safe online, is by not opening up too much.
If you would read the about page here at my blog, you would get some information…
Still, with all the information of this blog, the chances of correctly connecting it to me, without already knowing me in real life, is highly unlikely.
The reason for this is simple, I tend to be very global, and leave out the specifics.

Specifics mean a lot in life.
Just think about a country like Russia for example, if you would go travelling throughout all of Russia, you will notice you feel like you are moving through different countries.
The specifics when it comes to that, is that Russia is not truly 1 country when we really look at it closely, but because most only look at it globally, they will never notice this.
And that counts for everything, a global word does not mean that much when you don’t have the specifics.

I promised to my friends to be more personal, and the above is exactly how I am, I am a person of facts.
Those small specific things are what I enjoy, but we all share this at the internet either way, especially when it comes to social media.
It is one of the main disadvantages of people with autism(that includes me) to some, but as life has shown me too many times, it is better to turn your disadvantages to advantages, and that is exactly what I have done.

My history of being a foundling and living institutionalised for a large amount of my ~15 years of lifetime has been a long burden…
It affects my life daily, as even when you try to leave it behind you, it never will be possible, as while it is not who you are, it is still part of who you are.
Yet, I obviously didn’t tell about changing disadvantages to advantages, for no reason, as that is what has been done.
No, my English is not lacking, I didn’t mean “that is what I have done”, as I only took the bone that was tossed to me, I only said yes when the opportunity of changing showed itself.
Since a few days ago, I volunteer at an orphanage, an opportunity that showed because of a great teacher at the school I go to.
Once I was the orphan helped by others, now I am the one who is helping orphans.

This opportunity is however not only positive in the understandable ways, but also what I would never have known if I didn’t had taken this chance.
As when I still lived at the orphanage, and even a few weeks ago, I didn’t truly have respect for most of those who helped me, and also would never have thought about doing their job.
The reason for this is the hurt I connect to orphanages, which may not be the same at every country, but I do know I even see in the eyes of the other Ukrainians I knew at the orphanages I lived at.
But also at the current Russian orphanage I help out at, I see this in the eyes of the children, something I could probably only explain by the word “hollowness”.
Yet, I now admire those who helped me, as ever since the first day of volunteering, I noticed something I never did before, the dedication of those around me at wanting to help.
I only now notice the specific moments, the moments that were tried to hide, those moments of showing their true emotions, which I would have to say are better just shown..
In the end every person is just a human, which means we are not perfect, but who cares, as nothing at this whole wide world is perfect.

Life is a combination of specific and global moments, together creating everything around us.
Global things are great, but if it was not for those specific parts, even those global things would mean nothing at all.
Whether we are open or closed does not matter, as only when we are closed-off to certain specific moments, we could destroy our own chances…
Yet… The thing you should realise is that every global moment is made of a specific moments, so that is why it is, as some people say, to always be open to anything…