The truth unspoken
Recently I read, and answered, a question on my Twitter timeline. In German it was asked which of 2 terms was more overused, one of which I still know was “capitalism”, the other was a term about equal treatment, I don’t know the exact one anymore. The choice was actually rather easy and yet also very disturbing, as the choice I made was the latter, the term about equal treatment.
Yes, you hear me right, I believe the term of capitalism is actually less used than something else!
Which has to with the fact that it is actually the case in today’s society.
Being a male, I basically am best off to lock myself in a cage and never come into society again, if we look at the opinions of some females.
Yes, that’s an overstatement, but when it comes to being male, I already get criticized by a lot of females before they know anything about me.
(It’s something we basically can’t even talk about, caused actually by some males who have done horrible acts towards females, acts that I prefer not to even think about, because it disgusts me that people can be so twisted.)
As an example of how I am judged for just being male and nothing more:
I recently got a vile email by someone stating she blocked me at Twitter because I was just smug guy who tried to look good by being active at good causes.
Not being shy to point to facts I contacted her back, asked her why she came to that conclusion, and also explained my personal situation, like the fact that I am already active for 5 years by now at good causes, which is quite a lot of time on my 17 year lifespan and would be really long if I didn’t truly care, as well that I am active at good causes because of my own childhood.
(My childhood also actually explains my dedicated support to “Ark of Hope for Children“.
As, yes, my childhood has been all but great, hence I am still in constant counseling even though we are several years forward. Which is also part of why I am silent about my backstory still, as I haven’t been able to come fully to terms with it…)
After 2 more emails, she decided to unblock me and apologized for overreacting.
Yes, “overreacting”, as she had only judged me on my photo on Twitter, that was it, she hadn’t taken the time to check up on me in any way other than Twitter.
Of my photo and other info on Twitter she had based only a few conclusions, as she admitted, which was the fact that I was male, looked overly confident, and was active in support of others.
Basically, the thought was that I supported others because I felt above them.
Yet, those who have come to know me are aware of the fact that the exact opposite is true.
I previously didn´t even use a personal photo on any of my social media profiles because I was afraid of showing my own face, my current photo was only chosen because it was one of the very few photos of myself at which I looked “presentable”.
And my confidence stops after daring to hit another male while I am boxing… The thought of hitting a female or male outside of that situation scares me, as I know there are more than enough of both genders who would easily beat me up.
On a more fitting note though, I always have been a joker in school to redirect people’s attention of my many shortcomings, am mostly silent and distant to people who I don’t know because I don’t dare to start conversations and am scared to say something wrong, and my most important skill at supporting others is said to be that I am a listener…
Yes, “my many shortcomings”, as while I don’t see being diagnosed with the Autistic disorder as a shortcoming, I do see the diagnosis of Aphasia as a shortcoming, to name one that I could easily explain.
After all, aphasia is ALWAYS caused by injury to the brain, not something you really can see as a positive in any way possible, especially in combination with the fact that everything else related to aphasia is negative.
It affects my speech, my writing, my thinking, and quite probably my future chances…
Add to that the fact that I got the diagnosis of aphasia in the same year as my diagnosis of autism, when I was 7 years old, and you should be able to understand that my self confidence is pretty much non-existent.
In all honesty, the only people I can feel about that they are “lower”, are people like Trump… But let’s be honest, who can’t?
Apart of people like him, I don’t just feel but I truly know that I am lower than pretty much everyone else.
And even more so, it’s a fact that gets confirmed constantly everywhere I look around me.
People already get seen as “lower” by the general society for the fact they have a darker skin color, have glasses, and other ridiculous reasons, so what is shown by my aphasia is more than enough reason.
As for those who don’t know aphasia, or more specifically actually “expressive aphasia”, the effects that I show are really simple to explain;
To me the most important is the fact that it is heard, as I have a harder time coming to the words which I want to use, meaning I talk quite a bit slower than most.
And also I tend to forget to use some important words, even though in my mind I do most often know that I want to use them. Which is also shown in writing, like on my blog from time to time, but I tend to see that as less important. However, I do always check up on what I wrote, and I also get the help of my (adoptive) sister to find those mistakes that I make because my mind doesn’t seem to do what I think of, as I am still very much aware of it, even though I have a bigger problem when it is noticed in my speaking.
That’s the simple explanation, although I am not a doctor, so probably I have forgotten something important…
It is as noticeable as the other reasons people get discriminated, and I am not stupid, meaning I am aware that I will always be judged about it.
This all is also why it has been easy for me to use quotes in the way I do on the Twitter platform, as saying that our differences make us special is really simple when you always feel different, to name just one example.
And also trying to motivate others becomes an easier task, as it is what I have to do every single day for my own.
Which is exactly the same as what I said before, that my childhood is the reason why I am active at good causes, as it is in a way obvious to do the things that we know.
Leading also to that other point I wish to make, the fact that it is obvious that some females will instantly judge me just for being male, as I do have the ability to understand that it happens, as like I also said before, there are males who are truly horrible people.
Yet, that is kind of the problem, we take equality beyond what it should be about, as it shouldn’t matter whether someone is male or female, it should just matter how a person is.
Which in a sense shows equity is more important than equality, I suppose, but okay…
What I mean to say is that whether someone is male or female doesn’t mean they are always a certain way, like I already said before, there are females that are incredibly tough, which goes against the current gender bias, but there also males like me, those who do care for others without alternate reasons, and also while not being gay, to take that other bias also into consideration.
And I name that bias of being gay as it seems that some believe that because a male is gay that they are suddenly different than other males, which is most often not actually the case, hence actually also the prejudice about gay, as the reason why some males have troubles with those who are gay is often the fact that they are not identifiable by any means and there always being the possibility that someone comes out of the closet and tells you he is in love with you.
People are not truly scared of gays, but rather about the awkward situation that could be there… Could be there, as the chances of someone coming out and saying that he is in love with you is really low, and apart of that, it is just an awkward situation it causes, nothing more.
To be honest, I do personally think it is nonsensical that are scared of such situations to begin with, as I have a girlfriend and have talked with people who are attracted to their own gender quite a lot, both males and females, and the conversations are not in any way different than the conversations I have with those who are attracted to the other gender, like I am too. Actually, I have had a conversation about love with a gay just a few days ago, and I could only describe it as a lovely conversation, nothing weird or awkward about it.
Bringing us to what sums up all that I said in 1 term, which is bias.
We all have a form of bias within us, and how show that prejudice of others can be in a lot of different ways, even though some of us are not aware that we show it.
And it is not just in the ways I have named, which are about gender, sexuality, looks, and health, but there are many others forms of them as well.
Which almost always leads to some form of discrimination, which is obviously never correct.
Yes, I admit, even I have a bias within me, as I have a similar bias as the one I explained about the woman who looked down upon me for being male, as I have the bias within me that everyone has a bias within them, as even that is actually a way of prejudice.
It is however important how that bias, that prejudice, eventually will show to the world.
Especially as, in the end, most biases, most prejudices, are not based upon how someone factually is, it is just based on how you believe someone possibily could be…