We don’t really know
Note: Written in a currently hard time of my life. Because of that I lack focus, and it may have degraded my writing. My apologies if it has.
We all think we know…
I do, you do, and pretty much all of the world does.
Which is no problem, if you are willing to understand sometimes that you don’t.
Sadly, there are those who don’t want to understand that.
Like at the subject of politics becomes clear extremely fast…
This has lead to a lot of problems and stigma.
Like, did you know that there are orphans and foundlings with siblings?
It’s a too often overlooked part of children who are possibly getting adopted.
Just recently I had several chats with friends who I know have adopted themselves.
My personal importance was actually at that, if they were aware if the child(ren) they previously were planning to adopt had any biological siblings.
The answer to that was unanimous, something I did not expect to be otherwise, which is that they did know.
However, that lead to my actual question, which was if that did change anything.
Honestly, I was shocked by the stories that I got told, stories that I won’t be quoting because of privacy.
The most common experience was that when they had adopted siblings, instead of just one child, that only 1 side of the siblings often were attempted to be adopted by previous adoptive parents.
From there I contacted some of my.. “more connected” friends, who were able to confirm that this doesn’t just happen sometimes, not just often, but actually extremely often.
The sad part is that quite often there is done nothing to even try and keep the siblings together, but rather are happy enough that 1 of the 2, or more, gets adopted…
It’s a horrible thought to me, first lacking parental care, but after that also being taken away from the rest of your family..
.. which is actually one of the reasons why I started opposing the anti-institutionalization campaigns, as they don’t even want to think about that, while that is a step before their campaigns even should become important, and there are too many examples like that..
I could start focusing on the obvious, like the psychological effects this all has, but as it is obvious, let me skip that.
Instead, let’s take a moment to actually focus on the fact that this shouldn’t happen in the first place!
When it comes to adoption, at most countries this a tedious bureaucratic mess that can take years.
Which makes it not surprising that a lot of those who went through it all, the possible adoptive parents, have a long list of expectations for their child to be like.
Still, as much as people have expectations, it is important that these future adoptive parents can adapt, which is exactly where the problems start.
Often parents want a specific child, and when they’re family to a sibling, they will leave the sibling behind at a children’s home if the sibling doesn’t meet their criteria.
Law actually allows this to happen.
Which makes the solution quite easy, make law state that siblings in the care system can’t be adopted as individuals, but only together.
Yes, the solution is actually as easy as that…
Yet, I could have voiced this all in a single phrase if I wanted, and I didn’t as it doesn’t stop there.
The problem behind law is… you could have guessed, the previously already named politics.
When it comes to politics, these kind of subjects are often not seen as important enough, and are therefore handed over to someone else…
Someone else who is often not even known by the general public.
Which leads to a problem I actually have reflected upon a lot of times.
At these times there are organisations that could act as the middlemen, like UNICEF as probably the most obvious at this subject.
Yet, contacting UNICEF has once again no use, as who has a true clue to who I send this all?
Sure, I am lucky enough to have been emailed by United Nations employees several times, and I could probably ask them to redirect this all.
However, I won’t, as that’s not the way I am, seeing others as just a messenger, but more importantly, it’s beyond the point, as that is what I could I do, not everyone.
Eventually this all brings us back to reflect on what I said at the start of this post.
There are those who believe they just know, like the United Nations at this subject.
They believe so much that they know that they’re not open to the regular person, or at least they don’t show any openness.
However, they don’t know, as the previous phrases already state, as the United Nations was started for us, the regular person, not only the highly influential person.
Which is the saddest part, as positive change is possible, but what blocks it is the inability of people to listen, the plain ignorance of people…
The same ignorance that creates these problems also lets it go on, and on, and on, and on….